Angry At God

Angry at God?????

Yeah, sometimes I get angry at God. I admit that He knows me, He formed me. Therefore, He also knows my anger. Just as any parent knows the anger of a child when things don’t go as the child wishes. I think it’s okay to admit feelings of anger to God.

Sometimes we have to blame somebody when things go wrong. The dilemma for me is not the anger, but what to do with it. My mind travels to the Bible, and to Job. He lost everything and everyone in his life. Still, Job refused to curse God. I do not curse God. I do question “WHY”  though. As did Job. Job sought answers to that question from his friends. He sought answers to that question fromwithin himself. He questioned God.

Perhaps I need forgiveness from God for questioning Him. And so I ask “Please, forgive me God.”

As I read through the book of Job, I see the big picture. We as men, are just that. We are born,we live, we die. Our time here on earth is limited. We think we can live forever, but we will not. So we must make the best of our time while we have it.

We love, and we are loved. We are mortal men. We see things from our perspective. We are selfish human beings, and it’s okay to admit that. It is all we are meant to be….mortal. God on the other hand is immortal. He sees things from His perspective. He is zealous, not selfish. He is God. He is mighty.

We have to somehow learn to accept that we cannot control the universe. I have to accept that for myown life.  I cannot move mountains. But God can. I cannot save people. Only God can do that. If  He chooses to destroy, I can do nothing about it.I cannot bring back my brother, or my father, or my mother.

And that is what I am angry about. What I can do is to remember them, and honor their lives. I must think of ways to honor them.This hurts to think about. It hurts because I want them back in my life, physically.Somehow I must go on without them, and this angers me.

Is my anger displaced? I put it on God because I don’t want to carry it. I figure that He’s the God of the Universe, and so He can handle my anger better than I can. He has broader shoulders. So let Him carry it!

Anger is a feeling. My thought is that God created us with feelings. If He didn’t want us to feel anger,then He should not have created feelings at all! He should have made us robots. Then we’d all just move along in life with monotone sustainance. And nothing would matter. But no, He created us in His image. Complete with all feelings. Some good, some not so good it seems. Nevertheless, we have them.

What do we do with the anger? We can’t be angry at the ones who have died. They aren’t here to defend themselves. Sometimes we put the angry feelings onto others. My brother is not here, and I’m mad,so I’ll be mad at any one who gets in my way. I’ll be mad at the whole damn world! That will do it.

But being mad all of the time isn’t right either. Surely there are good people, and good times still to be experienced here. It’s not other people’s fault that I am grieving.

Anger has to be dealt with. I think in order to deal with it, we first have to acknowledge it. Then,give it to God. Give it UP to Him in prayer, or in writing, or in talking about it. We can’t just throw our anger AT God.

“Be angry and sin not.” –I’ve heard that scripture a hundred times or more.

I think it’s okay to feel anger, but it’s not okay to act on it.So many times we act on it. We turn away from God when we are angry at Him. We do the same with the people in our lives. But with God, there is always the picture in my mind of Him with open arms.He understands our little “snits” because He is our parent. He knows we’ll eventually get over our feelings of anger, and run back to those open arms of His.Just like Job, we are not alone in our feelings of anger. When we admit them, it makes it easier to reconcile with God.

And that’s the ultimate solution. Bring the anger to Him, not at Him.And realize that it’s o.k. to feel angry because someone who we loved so much is no longer here.And realize that God still is…..